~i love me.

“Loving is short but forgetting is long”

2005-07-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

well i don't really know why i havent been updating. chalk it up to being very lazy, especially during the weeks that i was busy. but now that im not doing anything i just might have the time to continue this little thing..

things arent the same between us...me and him..and things will never be the same *cries*

thankfully i have great friends who i know are just surely annoyed with my mood swings concerning this guy, but i love them all the same. it is always good to surround yourself with great friends because they will always be there to help when you need it, particularly when the guy you like rejects you. in the end rejection is still the hardest thing to face, but since you already know what too look out for in terms of a guy liking you or not then life might just get a little easier. do not make the same mistake i did. if he likes you then he likes you but if he does not then just back off. if you find yourself at a dead end the best thing to do is turn your back and walk away because if you pursue it then you will just end up slamming into the brick wall in front of you.

it really hurts.. losing the person you loved the most.

my l0ve for you is never ending...

2005-06-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

Why does eveything have to go so GOD DAMNED WRONG!!?

i usually would just move on and get over the fact a guy rejected me, whatever i say, theres someone else that will..but now i dont feel like saying that, and i really hurt when i do :( its weird that way, i dont know where to go..i feel kinda lonely..lost... i want someone to be with.... i want him back, i do want him back...but i can't... i kinda cried a little [yeah right!!].. i try to believe im over it.....sad thing issssssssss..i still want him...but of course, i want him to make the decision himself..di buh? i try to be his friend but it brings me nothing but sadness...HE HATES ME..LOVE SUCKS.. how can a person say i love you even if it isnt true?PLS TELL ME... i love him alot... more than i've loved anything..WHAT SHOULD I DO?

2005-06-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

:( confused.

I really dont like whats happening... theres something wrong.... he KNOWS i love him, and i think he loves me, too. [i guess] im not so sure if hes like the ONE for me anymore. things are so malabo na..i just dont know.. im afraid, if i get even closer to him again, and then i lose him again..itll hurt even more....id rather just lose him NOW then suffer later, when im caught up in everything..im scared to love na.. i have this trauma na yata.. I should be happy but IM NOT.. REALLY WEIRD..Help me GOD...oh, please. Kill myself f0r im to blame.. kill myself---rem0ve the pain..

**memories of the cool night wind blowing against my face..memories of the peaceful moonlight pouring over me..the warmth i felt from the golden sun..the coldness i felt from my empty heart when i was alone.. the fullfiment of being with you..my desire to be the ones i love..knowing that if these memories were gone i'd be an empty shell. "no!" i cried. "don't take them away!" but they were already gone and now i'm sitting in a dark corner all alone. Just me and my tears of loneliness..not knowing all of you has changed me..my mind is filled with hate for the world..but deep inside,i still feel a sadness..i still feel the cool nights wind, the peaceful moonlight, and the golden sun..but its not the same..nothing will ever be the same..so now when i feel these things im filled with dread. I hate myself for forgetting, but most of all, i hate the people who made me forget..now i will only remember those memories in distant, far away dreams. Hopeless.****

Anyways..

SCHOOL..We dont have classes today because its MANILA day...I stayed at home...Read some stuff. oh god. boredom...dan dan [-_-] Senior year is gonna be HELL. i gotta study..real hard.. i have t0 survive it..and college life. i know i will :)

my future plans..and when i graduated HS and finish my college life.. i wanna have my OWN LIFE..a pefect job..my so-called family and home sweet home. i want to have a simple life. a house in ayala alabang..three d0zenz of cars will do.. shempre..joke yun..but, why not?:)

im still young..and yet im thinking bout this and that.. geez.

we got tons and tons of paperworks...and its making me arggh. il do it later ;

....i try not to care anymore..

u love him, u stupid bitch.

"the things you said, theyre driving me away"

2005-06-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

I slept around 12:30am kasi kausap ko si RIC! yeah baby! haha.. dami niya kwento bout school and stuffs..

..im about to sleep na someone called.. oh well.. yeah, someone.. haha.. ;)

and Chui texted me..and that someone..

oh gosh. that someone is calling me a flirt..tapos now, a heartbreaker?

can i just say that..that someone broke my heart..REALLY. ouch. yeah right.

i did my part..

Ok. whatever. its over.

just wanna be friends with that someone pero ayaw niya.

not my fault :p

Oh well..

i texted migo before i sleep... hahaha.

me: Migo
migo: who are you?
me: your EX!
migo: yeah..friends tayo..
me: YOURE SO GWAPO. san kiss ko?
migo: Whoever you are. Fuck off.
me: its me mae.. sorry.. HAHAHA.
migo: potangina mae tatawagan na sana kita lakas mo mang gago..pagod ako sorry ha..
me: ok..

yun..funny noh? Haha. Sorry Migo!!

Anyways..

Happy Fathers day to all DADDYS! ;)

I FEEL SO L0VED.

Change is part of growing up..

..so happy and contented.. :)

are you?

2005-06-18T02:11:00.000-07:00

School started...

It wus fun ;)

Everything in life is just so fine. so perfect :)

Im l0ving myself again ...i do..really do since birth. what i meant is Im l0ving my life again.. :)

Im free against harmful diseases. haha. labo. ah basta. cant explain.

its really great to be FREE..i can do whatever i want. no body cares naman.

Anyways..

4A ako. mrs. indiongco is our adviser. i love my classroom and teachers and classmates [i miss albert, nics, queenie, and 0thers.] yeah baby! i seldom see them during break na kasi their classroom is l0cated hundred miles away from us. haha.. yeah right.

im seated in front with josh. he's a new comer from ob-ac. he's nice naman. so..good :) haha. amf. hans is seated back next to us...im explaining something to josh..tapos hans, migo, gens are so green-minded. F word. whatever talaga >:)

We got lots homeworks na pero its okay..madali pa lang naman..

We have nih0nggo! Im learning japanese. g0sh. haha.

My College plans and choices to take up..

I wanna go to any universities..

Im planning to take up psychology [for my pre-med..i find it really interesting] or engineering or comp. science :)

Gotta study hard..really hard:)

Well..Well.. will you be my FILLER? *wink*

2005-06-12T23:13:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY: went to school to buy my school supplies then back h0me.. luch. went to my cousins wedding..reception was held in CT restaurant in QC..back home..went to makati..shes. i bought pink metallic pens. :)

i have a new sun number..

IM me your numbers..

geez. im really bored..

read this..galing kay LA queenie.

_________your life_________>
[*] they call me: mae>
[*] also: buquid> >
[*] sex: female> >

_______right now_______>
[*] feeling: confused..>
[*] Listening: my voice..haha>
[*] Doing: typing> >
[*] Talking to: none>
[*] Craving: lots l0ve and chocolates..>
[*] thinking of: past mems..>
[*] hating: my fuckin life..> > >

_______Love_______>
[*] love : god, fam, friends>
[*] first love: j0hn>
[*] love or lust?: l-0-v-e>
[*] true or false: true> >

_______Miscellaneous _______

[*] can you swim: yeah>
[*] embarrassing moment? so far..cant remember..so good.. :)
[*] what are you scared of?: losing the person i l0ved the most..nangyari na eh..>
[*] do you like tomatoes?: yeah >
[*] they call me: bitch>
[*] also: pasaway> > > >
[*] how many TVs in the house?: 3>
[*] how many telephones?: 3> >

______Your looks______>
[*] Hair color: black >
[*] Eye color?: black>
[*] Height: 5'4-5?>
[*] Do u wear contacts or glasses?: n0t yet..>
[*] Do u have any piercings? ears> >

_____Just lately______>

[*] How are you today?: fine..trying to be happy :) > >
[*] pants are you wearing? pajamas>
[*] shirt are you wearing right now?: white p0lo sport shirt> >
[*] What does your hair look like at the > moment?: nakalugay;sabogness>
[*] What song are u listening to right now: n0ne>
[*] Last person you met?:my sister, mara>
[*] Last conversation?: bea through text msg>
[*] Last Dream you can remember: nabun0t daw ngipin ko..weird..>
[*] What time is it?: 2:28pm> >

______More about YOU______>

[*] What are the last four digits of your phone > which phone? 1604-gl0be>
[*] If u were a crayon, what color would you be?: > pink>
[*] What's the stupidest thing u ever did?: nakalimutan ko na ntbk pala ng kapatid ko yun tapos name ko nasulat ko..haha:)
[*] Where do you shop the most?: makati..market> >
[*] How many kids do you want to have: d0zen. is that enuf.>
[*] Shampoo?: palm0live>
[*] Do you have your own cellphone line?: > na>
[*] Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a > bone?: na..>
[*] Who do you dream about?: john>
[*] Who do you tell your dreams to?: best friends.>
[*] Who's the loudest friend you have?: hadeel?>
[*] Who's the quietest friend?: none..> >

__________Have you ever___________>

[*] Wanted to kill someone?: no. >
[*] Broken the law?: duh > >
[*] Tried to kill yourself?: na>
[*] Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: > noany TVs in the house?: yes>
[*] how many telephones?: 3

happy independence..ü

outside everybody looks happy
But take a look inside
Then you would see a very unhappy person
Which she wouldn’t be able to hide.

Her eyes cry every night
But she smiles at school
When she’s alone the truth appears
Inside she’s feeling like a fool.

Her heart is empty
You can ask her why
She won’t tell you that she still loves him
Without him she just wants to die.

Friends.. The word sounds nice
Without them she wouldn’t know what to do
But she doesn’t know how long they’ll stay,
Or which of them that’s true.

Don’t feel sorry for her
That won’t help her to enjoy
She misses him and old times so bad
Can’t you see; she has lost her boy.

Stand by her side
Don’t let her down or break her heart
She can’t take much more
So don’t let you and her be apart.

No matter what anyone says
Her heart can’t be fixed
She can’t like somebody new
She loves him, and he’s forever missed!

2005-06-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

how will it be to be living on the other side?
How will you be when you know that I am gone?
Will you miss me and shed some tears for my loss?
Or will you move on and I'm nothing more than dust?

What will you do when I'm no longer here with you?
Who will be the one you love and live together forever?
Would I still be a part of you deep in your heart?
Or will I disappear with time because I have parted?

Will there be a moment when you miss and think of me?
Or will you be too occupied with the new love you'll find?
Will there be a time when you sit alone and want me there?
Or will you try to forget the happiness and love we shared?

Do you think life is better on the other side of the earth?
Do you think there's a happier life where we can be together?
Do you think life would be any different if I am gone?
No, I think not because we all will continue to move on....

Just think..Everything happens for a reason..

2005-06-09T18:38:00.001-07:00

can i just say that all politicians are corrupt or should i say just most of them?

i watched the senate jueteng..things are really..getting worse..the problem is that they're all aware na its illegal but still they do nothing about it..even the president is involved in this illegal gambling.

what will happen to our country?

we'll suffer and die. DUH.

oh god. forgive them.

so am i :)

just finished readin the book "How NOT to spend your senior year"--its really a cool book :) i love it and i swear you'll love it to0. i borrowed the book from bea. thanks to her :) i love the ending part..its full of love ;) get your copies guys..

went to glorietta with friends yesterday. others did not go with us have coz they have their own bizz...ü

we watched the shutter..i was screamin the whole time..scary eh..freaky yung girl. i can still imagine the scenes and the girl. geez.

oh yeah, im jelly of bea and ger..they remind me of someone :( they're really sweet. ü

i had fun with the guys. il post the pics soon.

2005-06-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

2005-06-07T03:03:00.000-07:00

NEW LAYOUT!!

IM SO BORED! grabeh..

Wala ako ginawa.

I used the phone the whole day talking with chui and others..and went online..

Grabeh. Im so poor na :( I WANT THAT BAG. i forgot the name of the brand..damniit.

2005-05-27T03:51:00.001-07:00

Okay. Finally, Im home.

Ek trip is cancelled.

.....because of my parents. theyre in a very important meeting..my dad is having a meeting with these japanese people at shang-mkt and so as my mom at her office in atrium.

good thing we didnt go...its raining outside.

oh well.

i woke up at 7 a.m. shesh. so early huh..yeah...

went to OB-gh to enroll my younger sister. i even saw familiar faces *no names*

back home then ate lunch..

went to OB-sa, i enrolled myself na [just wondering, bakit mas expensive sa ob-sa? compared to other branches. are we really that special? nah. ]

nics, chui, bea called me up...inviting me to join them [i dont know exactly where..galle or shang? ].. sorry guys.. :)

i didnt go with them because i thought we're goin to EK..besides, i dont have any money..il try to go tomorrow. promise :) miss you biatches!

so there. we [my tito, dad and i] went to glorietta. i think its midnight madness. the place is toooo crowded. i hate it. too many people. duh..theyre not buying stuff naman.. haha. just looking around..amf.

2005-05-26T04:15:00.001-07:00

This day is kinda different..not as boring as ever..not boring at all..i really dont know why..

Nothing really happened..nothing important..

Weirdness.

Its raining..isnt that great? cool huh..

School is about to start...uh, im goin to school tomorrow to enroll myself.. if you need anything guys, meet me there. morning lang po.. :)

Were going to EK tomorrow. Sis Bonding. I hope the rain will stop by tomorrow.. haha.

I woke up early. i watched american idol..carrie won..rawr. vonzell is more deserving than her. oh well. no offense. haha.

I played the piano [still learning. Careless Whispers, Valentine--the available ones]

Magic sing is one heck. my fave ever.. :D

~don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you..everything is gonna be okay in the end, if it isn't okay, then it isn't the end~ <===uh..so that means..not over yet?..god speed.

can i just say..i hate flirts? and people who thinks that ima flirt.. look at yourself first, dear :)

i hate them..

i know someone--not really close to me..a total flirt. are you really trying to steal my friends guy? get a fuckin life..stop bitchin girl :p

to others..stay away fr0m..try me..>;)